Two Boys Talking Dirty During Class
The following is from Chapter 4 of Dear Pen Pal. It's a funny scene and it's the start of the problems for Joe and Cate.
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If you enjoy this chapter, please head over to Amazon.com and pick up a copy of Dear Pen Pal. E-books can also be mailed to friends as gifts.
“I’ve discovered why I fall asleep in class all the time,” Bill said on Monday morning. “Class moves too slow. It moves too slow because I’m too smart for it.”
Joe didn’t answer at first, trying to hide his face. “How can you say that?” he burst out. “You got a “F” in English. You speak the language. Are you sure that you aren’t too slow for the class?”
“It may look that way to the untrained eye. You’re not smart enough to see my way of thinking. It’s very progressive. What do you do to stay interested in class? Listen to the teacher?” he laughed.
“I dunno. I draw. Once in awhile, I take notes. You know everyone once in awhile they do say something useful. I have a pen pal that I write to sometimes. This one time she said…”
“A pen pal? I thought that was only in comic strips and movies. Why would you have a pen pal?”
“Remember back in the third or fourth grade, we had that pen pal exchange thing? I kept up with my pen pal all these years. You know I got matched with this girl in Ohio. When I was nine it was boring, but now she’s pretty cool.”
“An Ohio girl. A farm girl. A farmer’s daughter, huh.”
“I don’t think so. It sounds like a big city. Canton, ever heard of it? It’s not like those farm girls in the movies, videos, and songs.”
“Does she look like one of those farm girls? You know with the shorts and the tied up button down shirts.”
“I don’t know.”
“How do you not know?”
“Well, it’s funny, I’ve never seen her.”
“How many years you been writing each other?”
“Like six years. This is my study hall. I’ll see you later.”
“Naw,” Bill said walking into class. “I can cut the next class; it’s Chemistry or something. I can skip it. You have to finish the story. Did you ever call her on the phone?”
“I’ve never seen her, never heard her, nothing. I’m thinking about asking her if I can see her this summer. I cleared it with my mother. My ankle should be fine by then. My mom would be happy to get rid of me for a while. Hopefully I could stay at Cate’s house.”
“So that’s her name? Sexy name. Did she ever describe herself?”
“Yeah, she’s got brown hair, brown eyes, and she sounds tall.”
“How does someone sound tall?”
“I think she sounds tall.”
”Yeah, yeah, what are her tits like? She got a good ass?”
”Yeah, yeah, what are her tits like? She got a good ass?”
“I dunno. She told me got a bra when she was twelve.”
“OK that’s something.” Bill motioned in the air with his hands. “So that’s about three years to grow, but she’s tall. Tall women never have big tits, so with a little off due to height.” He made grabbing motions with his hands. “They’re not big but they’re not small.”
“What are they then?” Joe asked while watching Bill’s hands in motion.
He put his hands on the desk and looked around. “You suck, Joe. Do you know that? How can you write to someone for all these years and not know what she looks like? She has brown hair. So what? Every girl here has brown or black hair.”
“We talk a lot. We traded Christmas presents last year. I got her this little angel on a necklace. His leg was back and he’s pulling on a bow and aiming an arrow.”
“You suck. You write to her for all these years. You buy her stuff. You’ll be doing her all summer.”
“Doing her all summer?” Joe repeated sounding like he was repulsed.
“Yeah and you can’t even tell me what she looks like. How am I supposed to comprehend this? You told me about making out with Denise. That’s OK because I know her. It makes sense. When you call me this summer and tell me you slept with this girl, how am I supposed to congratulate you?”
“I never said that I was going to sleep with her. I think I tell you too many things.”
“Joe, try to keep up with my intelligence. You’ll be alone in her house. You’ll be with her all day long. You’ll be out in the fields.”
“There’s no fields.”
“She’ll be wearing those tight shorts, like in those late night cable movies. I think it’s the law that farm girls always wear those tight shorts. It’s always sunny in those movies. You’ll be out in the fields. You’ll get lost. You won’t be able to see the barn.”
“There’s no barns,” Joe interrupted.
“She’ll have to climb up on your shoulders to see over the corn fields.”
“There’s no corn fields.”
“Her skinny legs will be wrapped around your arms and back. You’ll put your hands on her legs to hold her steady. Hopefully she shaves her legs. Her soft squeeze-able thighs wrapped around your neck.
“You’re going to tell me that you’re not going to sneak into her room at midnight? You’ll say you got lost in the darkness. You were going for a drink of water. You’ve seen the movies. It’s hot there. She’s been waiting for you to come in all night. She’s been thinking about your jock chest and your jock arms. She’s hot. She can’t fall asleep. She’s rubbing her finger along her lips because they’re wet and itchy. Her nightshirt was too hot so she took it off. Now she’s in bed nude.”
“You sneak into your Dad’s magazines way too much,” Joe said.
“You open the door,” Bill continued, breaking into a sweat. “You see her. You walk in. The radio’s playing some guitar heavy instrumental. It’s always an instrumental in the movies.”
Bill took a breath. “Do you really think there will be no sex this summer trip?”
“I think I got hard thinking about it,” Joe said as he crossed his legs and sat.
Bill put his hand on Joe’s shoulder. “Get me a picture of her. I know you’re dying to know what she looks like now.”
“You’re right. I am interested.”
“Good, I’m going home.”
“You can’t leave. It’s only fifth period. Who’s going to carry my books?”
“I think I came on myself. You’re lucky. You only got a hard on. Actually I think I’m the lucky one.”
Bill got out of his chair with a textbook covering his hips. He walked out of class smiling.